Tools & Resources

Where to Start: a 2-minute self-assessment

Rate how stable each area of your life feels right now, from 1 (in crisis) to 5 (solid ground). This points you to the area that needs your attention first. It is private and saved only on this device.

The First 90 Days checklist

In the early weeks your only job is to keep your life stable, not to rebuild it. Tick these as you go. Your progress is saved on this device, and you can print a clean copy.

• List the bills that must stay paid (housing, utilities, transport)
• Change passwords and secure your own email and bank access
• Open a bank account in your own name if you do not have one
• Pull your credit reports and note every joint account
• Update beneficiaries on insurance and retirement accounts
• Write down the one or two people you can be honestly not okay with
• Set a simple daily routine: wake, meals, one walk, a bedtime
• Decide the big decisions you are allowed to postpone (house, move, job)
• Book any medical or mental-health support you have been putting off
• Choose one small kindness to do for yourself this week

One-income budget snapshot

A quick, private picture of your month. Enter round numbers. This is a starting point, not financial advice; for decisions that matter, see a qualified professional.

Real, non-commercial resources

Trustworthy places for help with the parts of rebuilding that a book cannot do. We are not affiliated with any of them.

Emotional health and grief

• NIMH: Caring for Your Mental Health (US National Institute of Mental Health)
• MedlinePlus: Grief and Bereavement (US National Library of Medicine)
• 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline (call or text 988 in the US)

Safety in an unsafe relationship

• National Domestic Violence Hotline (1-800-799-7233)
• WomensLaw.org (plain-language legal information on safety and the courts)

Money, credit, and legal

• CFPB: Credit Reports and Scores (US Consumer Financial Protection Bureau)
• Investor.gov (unbiased basics of saving and investing, from the US SEC)
• LawHelp.org (find free and low-cost legal aid near you)

Children and co-parenting

• American Psychological Association: Divorce and child custody
• HealthyChildren.org: Helping Your Child Through a Divorce (American Academy of Pediatrics)

Links open in a new tab. Phone numbers and availability can change; if a link moves, search for the official service by name.